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Breaking The Law

July 28, 2015

By Editor

I have been a law abiding citizen for all of my life- well, give or take a speeding ticket. I
respect police officers and appreciate their work in helping to keep our streets safe.

Therefore, it was a strange experience to be sitting in the front seat of our care being
questioned by a policeman about my recent disturbance in a computer store. It never was
suppose to happen like it did.

it all started a number of weeks ago when I began to have trouble with my new computer
dropping my WiFi network. I could only work in one room and if I left it, the network 
dropped and I couldn't access the internet. This was a big issue for me.

We had the internet company come out three times to check our router and ensure it was
working properly-which it was. The next step was to take it back to our local computer
store where we bought the computer. The store owner servicing me lacked
professionalism and it annoyed me how he spoke down to me. He talked me into buying a
software package which "most likely" will fix the problem. It didn't and I now was in the 
hole for $75.

I took my computer back to the store for the second time and spoke with the same man.
He took the computer for the day to work on it. Once again, we picked it up only for it to
still not work. We returned a third time where he said the entire computer needed to be 
sent back to the manufacturer as it had a faulty network card. It would take 7-10 business
days to be fixed. He told me I would be called when it was done. By then, it was obvious
we rubbed the owner the wrong way as he did with us. It was difficult to get what was
needed for the computer to be fixed. By now I was aggravated.

I use my computer every day. It plays a big part in keeping me connected with others,
informed, has my games on it and all my files.It was not east to be without my computer 
for 10 days.

Yesterday, Dawn drove me to the store as I was told it was fixed when I called for an
update. In the store I was told by the technician that nothing was wrong with it and it was
never sent away. So, it had just been sitting there for 10 days.

Something clicked in my brain. I could see fire and my vision became focused on one 
person-the condescending owner. I marched up to him and told him he lied to me. It
was to be sent away and for me to get a new network card. He just kept staring at me with
this annoying look and repeatedly said, "My technician said there is nothing wrong with it."

I began to yell at him calling him a liar and that he needed to fix my computer which was
still under warranty. He refused. I stood in the middle of the small store yelling when
Dawn came in to see what was causing the delay. Instantly she understood the gravity of 
the situation and urged me to leave the store.

After some coxing she lef me out to our car where I sat for one minute. I opened
the door of our moving car and barged back into the store. He had been smirking and 
laughing at us. I couldn't stand it.

I don't know why I returned to the store. There was nothing positive to come of it. The first
item closest to the door was a desk with a computer and phone equipment on it. I went for
it and started to pull it out of its sockets and began throwing it.

By then Dawn had run back into the store and positioned herself between the store owner
and myself. She was being crushed as the two of us tried to get at each other. I could
hear him telling his technician to call the police. It was a huge commotion.

Dawn eventually got me to leave the store where we waited quietly in our car for the police
to arrive. She cried softly.

In no time, two squad cars arrived and began talking with the owner. I stayed in the car
while Dawn got out to try and speak to the officers. She repeatedly said "She has FTD."
"She has dementia." "She has behavior Frontotemporal Dementia."

Eventually, one of the officers stood outside the car and began to talk with me through the 
window. I'm not sure of all the things he asked. I do know I kept trying to tell him that the
store owner was a cheat and showed him documentations to support my claims.

During out conversation Dawn kept trying to help out and provide answers. The cop
became very firm with her and told her to remove herself. She flat out refused and said I
had FTD and need her assistance. I'm sure Dawn was thinking, this is when she gets
hand-cuffed. But, after a stare-down with the other police officer took her gently away yet was
in within hearing distance.

I just sat in the car mulling over the events. I thought to myself "I've never been to jail
before. It will be an interesting experience." "If I go to jail, I'm going to make this a very 
public event." "The store owner is a liar and laughed in my face." "My computer still does
not work," etc. "I'm going to write a journal about this episode."

After some time, I heard Dawn thanking the officers and how they handled the situation
very well. She sat down in the drivers seat and handed me our Police Services "Notice
Prohibiting Entry Pursuant to the Trespass to Property Act" sheets.

She looked at me seriously and said, "You know what you did wrong. You can't just
go around damaging others property." "Yup." I agreed BUT he didn't fix my computer!

The last two weeks, there has been a few significant incidences with me becoming
extremely aggravated, verbally and physically confronting. My apathy is apparent.

This latest incidence brings up a whole host of worries for Dawn. She got me off this 
time...but what about next time? If I am charged, due to my FTD, I will be tried in a Mental
Health court. How can she physically restrain me when I'm so fired up? Who can help her
in such situations? Will my periodical poor behavior and apathy continue to spiral down?

Behaviour Supports Ontario is an initiative meant to enhance services for older adults with
complex and "responsive" behaviors that stem from dementia, mental illness or substance
abuse.

My behavior has meaning. I was communicating my frustration about my computer not
being fixed after not having it for 10 days. I was lied to about sending my computer away
when it was not. I was spoke down to. I was left with few alternatives to fix the computer.

Unfortunately, although the behavior has meaning it still does not make it appropriate or
OK.

I worry about Dawn. It must be so terrible to see her partner of 13 years act in ways that 
are beyond her comprehension. For many care providers, the stress becomes too much
and they leave the relationship.

Dawn is putting together her plan in case a serious episode happens like this again. She
is working on a strategy plan with friends.

You may be asking yourself, why I would write about such a terrible thing. If I don't write
about it, how will you know? How will you know our behaviors have meaning? Look
past the stigma and learn why this happens. And that is why I choose to write about it.

Although Orange is the new Black, I'd rather not wear it.